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Santa’s Drivers

I got a rule: if a Weird Sport is happening less than a mile from mi casa and there’s money light and red Santa outfits AND the promise of beers, I’m soooooooooo there.

And that’s how I ended up revisiting a classic Portlandia Weird Sport: Urban Golf.

Scotty is the one who coordinates all this mayhem. This day, he brought along his two kids. I’m curious to know them as adults, to find out what they consider normal in the world. Surely that will include their father, right?

What Weird Sport would be complete without a stash of PBR brazenly drunken in public? (The answer: there is no such Weird Sport.)

This was a shorter course than normal. Often times, there are a string of bars and strip clubs along the course. It’s important for exhausted golfers to get a second wind.

This day, it was a shorter course through SE PDX. The final clubhouse was yet another new find for me, The Beer Mongers, which is stocked full with chilled suds from around the globe.

Don’t tell anyone, but Portland is pretty badass.

The hazards included the train tracks, which digested at least a couple of Scotty’s tennis balls. It’s alright. It’s all for a good claus.

Subcultures crossed paths as Urban Golf momentarily captured the curiosity of skateboarders. The best hole of this course started at a skybridge over the train tracks and ran down a couple flights of stairs.

I was joking with Robert, above, that I wasn’t intentionally stalking him. But since he and Scotty were the only two dressed for the occasion, there was nothing else for me to do but to stalk Santa.

You dress as Santa in public, you get the paparazzi treatment. Every time.

Scotty was telling me about why he loves putting on events like Urban Golf. It’s a chance for people in PDX to get to know their city better. Hell, I learned about that new beer joint in my hood (as if those are in short supply).

It’s also a chance for people to remember how to have fun. Hell, frustrated commuters were given a reason to smile at this scene of public silliness. Who doesn’t love a good Santa sighting?

Have I mentioned how badass Portland is?

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